he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
operation have a gay friend backfired
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
Life is my bitch right now. The bouncers tried to carry me out of the club, but everyone thought I was crowd surfing so everyone carried me BACK IN. Winning as fuck.
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
Randomize
