yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
Randomize
