Fuck u you updated twitter but didn't answer my text
I know you're alive
According to my dad, my tongue ring makes people assume I give a lot of blow jobs because, as stated by him "that's what it's for"
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
Randomize
