How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
Text me right after you finish, I want to know how the ghetto fleshlight worked out
How about I just call you while I'm doing it so you can hear my reaction?
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
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