So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
Randomize
