you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
Randomize
