I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
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