I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just high enough for therapy.
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
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