I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
Randomize
