I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
Randomize
