So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
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I can't. I will literally throw up my liver
Why dont you be an ebola patient for halloween? You can totally throw up and itll be part of your costume.
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
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