If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
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