Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
If I hear the phrase 'these unprecedented times' one more time I'm putting my foot up someone's ass.
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
