I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
Randomize
