Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
almost dropped my phone in the toilet but it somehow bounced off my tit and landed on the floor. Boobs: saving me hundreds of dollars in bar tabs and smartphones since '09
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
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