My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
I just accidently deleted 60 gigs of porn from my external hard drive. Thats over 300 pornos! I think im gonna cry.
Im surprised that you are even able to text me right now.
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
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