He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
