Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize
