so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
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