he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
Why is there no Netflix category for "I just wanna cry, but I don't have time for a whole romcom"?
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
Randomize
