she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
There is a such thing as a wonderpuss octopus. Officially my new favorite animal.
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
Randomize
