Sponge bath it is.
when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
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