She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
Randomize
