even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
We got so high we made milksteak
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
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