I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
I got her a Nickelback box set.
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
Randomize
