Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
Your penis caused this!
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
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