Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
Randomize
