just come out here and I will go home with you...
I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
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