Oh shit. I just had to lure him into the bedroom so I could take the list of his negative qualities off the fridge so he wouldn't see.
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
cat food counts as protein by the way
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
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Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
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Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
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