you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
Randomize
