you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
Lucky for you, I found your phone.....Not so lucky for you, it was in the bottom of your vomit-filled trashcan.
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
I heard you were drinking whiskey straight from the bottle last night.
Actually I was drinking whiskey straight from 3 bottles, but that is neither here nor there.
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
Randomize
