OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
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