I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Randomize
