that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
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