Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
My birth control alarm just woke me up from my dream where I was pregnant. Thank god.
when I woke up I found a half-eaten cherry toaster strudel sandwich with bacon in the middle.
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
Randomize
