Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
I have drunkenly angered a family of raccoons. Please send help immediately.
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
Randomize
