Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
Accomplishment of the day: changing my tampon at 38,000 ft with turbulence. Fasten seatbelt sign was definitely on.
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
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