Whoa Z and x make the same sound
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife.
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
It's been two dates and she just invited me to her aunts funeral. I can't even. Who the fuck does that? I need to drink I'm coming to get you in 5
They have beer where we have blood.
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
Randomize
