I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
Peed in a church parking lot last night. As if Jesus didnt hate me enough already.
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
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