forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
If you invite me to a bar tonight my liver will kick you in the testicles
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
Bang-toberfest begins!!
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
