How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
Damn why is there no horse blowjob emoji?
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
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