Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
Randomize
