Fyi: he's overweight and balding. My biological clock is ticking so loud I can't hear the TV.
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Randomize
