I think i just called up my ex and talked to her for 20 minutes about frogs and how happy i am to be wearing shorts
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
you didnt know i had herpes?
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
You tried to tell her that the salad was an afrodisiac then proceeded to stroke yourself with the feather duster
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
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