I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
