he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
Randomize
