I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
I tried to smoke out of half a banana, and lit my nose hair on fire. So I feel like that sums up my life pretty well.
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
Randomize
