i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
Randomize
