I just saw a San Diego firetruck. No wonder they can't figure out how to fight wildfires if they get so fucking lost they end up in Nebraska.
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
Punched myself in the face trying to open a bottle of Vicodin one handed. Night is going well.
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