We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
Randomize
