I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
This is not a drill. I need a cape. And a tuxedo. Simultaneously. Repeat. NOT. A. DRILL....
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
Randomize
