I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
Randomize
