fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
I just had a girl text me from knoxville "come see me. we'll go for drinks and I can make you breakfast"
how do you like your eggs?
over tits
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
I don't care how drunk you were. Sending me a pic of your dick dressed as Uncle Sam with the caption "I want you" isn't an acceptable pick up line.
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
Randomize
