you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
barbara walters just said penis...
It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
You pole danced in your parka.
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
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