cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
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He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
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I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
I'm not going to waste the next hour of my life writing a diplomatic email explaining that she's bitch. I have Parks and Rec to watch.
I told my mom that I was just gonna go check the mail. It's been 19 hours, and I woke up in a hot tub covered in chocolate, with a text from her sayin "have fun sweetie"
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