whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
Randomize