His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
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