Things I find upon waking: a gay man, a straight girl both clad in web bathing suits, a full bathtub, an empyt bottle of jamesons at the bottom and a scuba mask
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
Dude, we got to the strip club as they were closing, and you starting crying because, and I quote, "This is the closest to birthday sex I'm gonna get."
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
hot take: drunk me can walk through walls?
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