My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
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