Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
I think people are normalizing furries
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
Randomize
