i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
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