pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
there is cereal in my wallet where all the cash used to be.
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
To be fair, this is a tequila-while-rewatching-Benedict-Cumberbatch-as-Van-Gogh idea, so I don't know if it will hold up tomorrow.
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
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