I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
My new hangover cure is going for a haircut, just so the stylists give me a scalp massage during the shampoo.
That certainly explains the nine times your hair has looked different just this last month alone.
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
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